29th
brush with greatness: brian setzer
while relaxing at a local tavern this afternoon i watched a man with an impressive mop walk through the door. as he bellied up to the bar i realized it was none other than guitar god brian setzer.
setzer is a pioneer with an uncanny ability to transition his signature sound from a three piece rockabilly outfit to a big band (and back) with ease. the man’s musical accolades are impressive to say the least. but it’s quite possible they pale in comparison to his hair.
brian setzer’s pomp is the stuff of legends. while 80s metal bands made headlines for their straightened, bleached manes, the stray cats’ frontman was perhaps the real hair story.
and he still is.
so you can imagine how nervous i was knowing i was in his line of sight. my mind began to dart from question to question…
——-
is he looking at my mullet? does it disturb him? do i have enough gel in the top? would a guy with hair that sublime even talk to a mulleted-american?
i sense myself going insane. (i’ve never gone insane, but i assume it feels like this)
i decide the only option is to approach setzer and his companions.
“what do you make of it?”
the first words out of my mouth seem to confuse everyone involved.
“what do we make of what?” setzer asks.
yep. he’s confused. i’m locking up. i point to my hair.
“oh, you mean the mullet?”
he recognized it as a mullet. without prompting. this is key. although he might still hate it. i take the opening and run with it.
“yeah, you know. i was just wondering how you think it measures up.”
he nods and they begin to look me over. i stand still, waiting for the final word.
“the stripes need to be deeper but if you fix that i’d give it a ten.”
“a ten?” i’m taken aback. i don’t know what to say. what follows might not have been the best idea.
“do you think you’d ever rock a mullet?”
setzer ponders the question for all of two seconds.
“nope, that’s not really my style. but i dig a cool haircut.”
——-
“a cool haircut” — there you have it, folks.
let it be known that brian setzer may be many things but he is most certainly not a mulletist.
an aside — brian, if you want to throw a charity show for goodwill, get at me. there’s a camaro ride in it for ya.
-BIFPIB-
